The Four Stages of Food

The Four Stages of Food


Ye have heard that there are three stages of food: Fresh, Foul, and Fuzzy,

But this, O Children, is incorrect, for wise men have discovered that there are Four Stages of Food!

Stage One
Know ye that in Stage One, the food is as plucked from the garden or from the market, still damp with the dew of morning.
Stage Two
Know ye that in Stage Two, the food is not so fresh, so that ye take it forth from the refrigerator, examine it, decide to eat something else, and replace it in the refrigerator.
Stage Three
Know ye that in Stage Three, ye pluck it forth from the refrigerator and place it immediately into any convenient waste recepticle.
Stage Four
But Stage Four, Oh Best Beloved --- In Stage Four ye take it from the refrigerator and wonder what it was that used to be in that bag!