BUQ, Feeling Feisty

The Book of Unaswered Questions is, as Mr. UDUNVAGOR has stated, " a previously unknown manuscript called The Book of Unanswered Questions(BUQ), a notebook handwritten by Tolkien in his last years, which contains answers to ALL the unsolved mysteries that have been dabated over the years, and some of which none could have dreamed of." How Mr. Udunvagor discovered this Text is only for the most advanced scholars to know, and will certainly not be revealed here, where we limit ourselves to providing such samples as we deign to allow the general public to know about, without charging a fee that is enormous even by our relatively hefty standards.

Names of Uruk Tribes

"And thus, a Great Council was held by the leaders of the Five Uruk tribes, to divide the lands of West into priviledged areas of exploitation amongst themselves... For the ''Uruk-Hai'' of Isengard: the southern Misty Mountains and areas immediately connected to them, including Rohan and Fangorn; for ''Da Uruk-Mob'' of Dol Guldur: Mirkwood and all surrounding areas east of Mountains, to the borders of Lorien (this includes Dale and Lake Town); for ''U-Tang Clan'' of Moria: all of northern Misty Mountains all the way to Gundabad, and Eriador on its entire; for ''Urukz4Life'' of Minas Morgul: North and South Ithilien; and finally for the ''Pushdug Crew'' of Morannon: area from Dagorlad to Iron Hills, apart from previously mentioned regions. But Lorien and Gondor were declared "Open Realms" where everyone could operate without limits..."
-BUQ, page 57

Annals of FATS

"There is an ancient prophecy about a 'Chosen One,' who shall rise from the abysm of Usenet, and he shall triumph over the Flamers and Trolls, and the blood of the Chrisopherites shall flow like wine. He shall yet prevail, and deliver the peoples from Christopher, and his name will be Udunvagor, Lord of All, Giver of Freedom."
-BUQ, page 108, footnote 29

Numenoreans and Manga

"My studies of Manga have been very fruitful, and not only for my original purpose of learning more from sexual habits of the Watcher in Water. I also now wonder if Ar-Pharazon ever reached the shores of Aman at all. Considering the apparent similarity between Adunaic and Japanese language, as well as the shared attraction to the military and technology, it seems a strong possiblilty that the Numenorean fleet in fact sailed around the world and conquered the islands of /Nippon/ instead."
-BUQ, page 75

Footnote: "Of course this would also go a long way in explaining the superiority of the pure-blooded Japanese compared to the lesser races of Asia, if I believed in such thing, which I don't!"

Talking Fox of Angmar

"Few who read the [LotR] comprehend what peril the encounter with the Talking Barrow-Fox of Angmar represented to the Hobbits. For doubtessly it was one of the Fox-Wights who once had lived by the barrow hills, and had been possessed by the same evil spirits who became the Barrow-Wights. Their cruelty and malice were well known amongst the smallcretures of and chicken-herders of Eriador, for they killed for the sake of killing, instead of to feed themselves. No doubt they were responsible for the bad reputation of which the Fox-folk have suffered in the latter-day tales..."
-BUQ, page 96

Haircolour of Legolas

"It is interesting to note that in a poll conducted just before the army marched on to the Black Gate, 68% of the Womenfolk of Gondor would have preferred that Gimli would be left behind to 'protect' them, and only 26% voted for Legolas. Wheter this was due the enormous influence of Galadriel, or did Nomenoreans just not like blondes, no tale can tell."
-BUQ, page 112

The Final Entry


BUQ, in a More Meditative Frame of Mind


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