Jan. 31, 2008
Hell City (orcinf) -- The results of the Comgress election in County Hell exceeded expectations. Voter turnout rose to 137% in Filthy and 145% in Tasthy, setting new record marks for these districts. Participation reached a stellar 1600% in the district Bluh, whose sole inhabitant Commissar Bluh said that it would have been even higher if he had not run out of ballot papers. According to Bluh, the high turnouts are unmistakeable signs how serious the orcs of Hell are about democratic values.
Even in Hell City North, where fangirls could vote for the Psychedelic Hair Association, the elections were mainly quiet and uneventful. Election supervisors were relieved to note that most fangirls turned out to be too young to vote anyway.
The actual results were classified as top secret by Hell's secret services, KGBork and NKVDork, and thus cannot be told to anyone. The government assured, however, that this would not lead to confusion amongst the contestants for Comgress seats. "It's actually very easy", a speaker of the Comgress told the Daily Worcer, "if you arrive and someone's sitting at your place, you're out."