Aug. 12, 2008

Bitterfelt (orcinf) -- The Fredonian Olympics are coming up, and the entire Helluvan team is threatened with a ban for doping. The spokeswoman of Hell's athletes, weightlifting champion Sweatlana Kowstemmer, dismissed the allegations that had been uttered last week. "We never took anything illegal", she thundered on a press conference in her deep bass voice, nervously twiddling her beard.

The athletes claim that all substances found in their blood are part of Hell's normal air pollution. To back up this claim, they have invited the Fredonian Olympic Committee to test Hell's air on the discovered chemicals. Yesterday evening, the president of the FOC, Ch√Ętelain Christopher MDCCCXCII of Tol Kien, arrived at the Helluvan training center in Bitterfelt and, according to his speakers, will conduct tests "as soon as he stops coughing".