Of the 31 Colleges / Halls at the Academy, around 25 of these regularly compete in inter-college sports competitions. These competitions aid in selecting membership in the FATS teams that compete throughout Fredonia. These teams are supported by drunken sports punks called the Fatigans, whom the Decider normally keeps penned up on Fatigans' Isle, because they are so annoying. However, He may occasionally let them loose when He sees some way of forcing concessions from the Fredonian government or from the town of Oxfat.

Those Clubs that are populated by homicidal maniacs run knockout mortal combat competitions known as "Moruggers". We estimate that around 7500 people compete in College sport each year, most of whom survive -- in a good year. FATS colleges are involved in major sports such as Flaming (FATS does not participate in the Rogsylvanian original, but only in the Barftat version, which Horus won several times in his youth, around 2600 BC), smokathons, caradhrasiads (for winter), Tolkien marathon quoting, babble-ons (longwinded speech races), battle-axe hacking, golfinbul, elvish/fangirl hairstyling events.

Dwarves and nerdy dwarf-imitators compete in the Pent-Athlon (involves a detailed cross-comparison of two major microchip manufacturers) and hold technobabble contests (and hold hacking contests, not with battle-axe but with malware); Elves and Orcs excel in Farsmelling, a contest who can be smelt from the farthest distance. All-Fredonia sports include the titlathon, a competition for the longest aristocratic title; and the candy-spitting event, which King Frod son of Fred always wins... Some of the more daring students play an extreme sport involving orc-whores.

FATS Flaming Team on the Lard


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