Tolkienology is the study of Middle-earth in relation to the writings of TOLKIEN, distinguishing what he really wrote from the inventions of Christopher Tolkien and his myrmidons.  It both relates the statements of TOLKIEN to objective historical and scientific fact and examines TOLKIEN's true Intent.  Its dean is ex officio the Viceregent of Morambar. All undergraduates are required to enroll in the School of Tolkienology, and graduate students may also enroll in it. However, undergraduates must also take two courses in the School of Menacing Looks and Frog Pills, and may take electives in other schools.

Requirements for the Bachelor of Arts Degree in Tolkien Studies (B.A.T.S.)

The Fredonian Academy of Tolkien Studies encourages you to begin the applicaton process as early as possible and sign up your tots for our Brainwashing Daycare Centre. See Admissions for details.

Complete at least 40 courses of three or more semester-credit hours each.

Satisfy the requirements of the school, including the requirement in Flamewar composition.

Pass a comprehensive assessment administered by the major department, which will examine the student's blind devotion to the Academy, ruthlessness in serving the Cause, and acumen in producing propaganda. To these requirements, the Grand Mamsell has added a caviar-judging and a vodka-drinking test.

Meet residency requirements: student will live in a college or hall with other students and will submit to the complete and utter regulation of every aspect of their lives.

Degree requirements are not satisfied by just any 40 courses. No more than 14 may be taken in any one department, and you will be responsible for taking courses required by the School and those required by your major program.  Beyond these requirements, the remaining courses are "free electives."

Requirements of the School are:

1 - Introduction to Tolkien Studies: Textual Interpretation and Distortion. Includes special module in nitpicking, and four introductory courses: Tolkienology 101: An Introduction to Tolkien; Tolkienology 102: Introduction to Tolkien's Works.; 103: Influence of Tolkien and 104: Enemies of Tolkien. More information is available here.

2 - Introduction to Middle-earth: Balrog Wigs, Plate Tectonics, and Other Scientific Debates. At least one course must be in Balrogology and one in Plate Tectonics.

3 - Pre-pre-propaganda. Includes coursework in spin.

4 - Pre-T0LKINE LITARARY C0OLN3SS. Liek todally requir3s at l3ast one c0urse in Hairstylin.

5 - Introduction to Elvish Language Fistfights.

Every B.A.T.S. graduand will be able to refute both Hostetter and Hauskanger.  Or at least out-flame them.

6 - FATS Faculty Personality Cultus. This course entails grovelling before a faculty member, worshipping him/her, and being his/her personal slave.

7 - Social and Behavioral Science: Entails signing up as an experimental victim.

8 - Introductory Assassination Theory. The goal of this program is to study the field of assassination from an interdisciplinary perspective. Students gain knowledge of elementary murder techniques

9 - Flamewar Composition. Includes Personal Invective, Lying, Trolling.


The school has a number of programs and departments, which have been created in order to advance scholarship and placate faculty egos.

Each department sets its own criteria for acceptance in its major program; they commonly involve blood.



Art History and Appreciation. Chair: Lt. Arthur Illery. Includes Pukelmon Sculpting

Landscape (G)Ardaning and Ardaforming

Music of the Ainur


Textual Analysis and Language Arts

Introductory Tolkienology & Religious Studies

BUQ Palaeography

Creative Research

Elvish Language Fistfights. Chair Maedhros de Sadendil

Mordor Language & Literature

Peter Jackson Studies. Chair(s): Purus and Adaptus Novella


Textual Nitpicking. Chair Tolkien Pedant

Tinkering with the Canon (Advanced Students Only)


Truth and Tolkien Archival Studies. Chair Baron Mörön Bogusz

Science of Middle-earth


Biology. Chair SoulOrc. Includes Biochemistry of Hobbits, Cell-structure of Symbelmyne, Biopsychotropics, and the Blues


Middle-earth Astronomy

Middle-earth Technology

Nuclear Physics. Chair Somnolus Pflanzenteich

Physics. Chair P. Cottontail. Nuclear physics was separated from this department when Dr. Cottontail went wacko

Plankton Appreciation. Chair, a bit in absentia as a result of ... issues:  Cindy, the Blue Whale; textbook "From Plato to Plankto: An Improvement)

Plate Tectonics. Chair Dr. Lustmolch


Sadistics (this Department is also responsible for Flamewar Composition)


Social Stuff

Dwarfthropology. Includes Computer Science and Dwarvish Sign Language. Chair Muzak-Zigzag


History of Middle-earth. Chair Éomer Greyhame

Marxist-Leninist-Feanorist Sociology

Politics and Flaming

Social Ork. Chair Morunzel

Spamming & Economics

Tolkien Psychotics. Chair A.S. Tollmann


Interdisciplinary & Non-Major Programs

Alternative Fantasy Therapy. Director Dr. Tollmann

Conquest & World Order Studies

Early Troll Studies

Introductory Assassination

Medieval Umbrellas, Tobacco, and Train Studies. Director Éomer Greyhame

Pre-propaganda Program

Pre-Terrorist Program

XXX Studies. Director: Dr. Lustmolch.


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